What Are You Really Saying?

So you have something to say as you sit on your couch eating Fritos while guzzling your beer? So you have something to say as you meander through the halls of your office muttering about the injustices of the world under your breath? So you have something to say as you rant and rave in the safety of your car as you navigate Friday traffic. So you have something to say as you post your world views, (even though you have never actually studied world history or ever traveled outside of this country) factually unverified, fear provoking, vitriolic propaganda? So you exercise your first amendment right of free speech to hate on politicians, total strangers, people in social media, those you disagree with, those you wish to bully, you use your free speech to verbally assault anyone who is different than you. And you do all that never realizing how you are denigrating yourself, you are making yourself physically ugly while sabotaging your own health. There you are vomiting your unhappiness on anyone and everyone never seeing how much it says about you and your inability to love or even like yourself. You show yourself when you attack others, you verify the obvious, that you have no self-respect, no personal integrity or clearly no intelligence. And all the while your rhetoric and hate are amassing and multiplying, building and growing around no one but you waiting until you are at your happiest to return and undo your world. You contribute to nothing, you add to nothing, your existence is nothing more than that of fallen log in the forest, dead, fruitless, casting only a momentary shadow on the living. You will wither and die leaving no legacy, no meaning and being easily forgotten.

How’s that working for you?

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The Science of Hate

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The Science of Hate

By Ariaa Jaeger

“To get past hate, you must go to the root of all forms in the secret place where love arises. From this place, my friend, the divine spark bursts forth.” ~ Faouzi Skali (20th-21st Century)

Historically hate was once contained to holy wars or political circles but in this new age of electronic media it has found a new audience to feed its insatiable appetite and with far greater impact. With the onslaught of social media in 2004 when Facebook arrived on the scene followed by Twitter in 2006, cyber bullies and haters have become commonplace. Singer Susan Boyle, Chef Rachel Ray and many other celebrities know firsthand the sting of blogs, news stories and magazine articles declaring truth in fabricated and slanderous gray journalism. But today in social media you can find ordinary, hardworking, God loving, law-abiding citizens, spiritualists, philosophers, minor celebrities and popular social media personalities the target of online bullies and angry souls who have an excess supply of jealousy, envy, anger and little to no success of their own. A haters goal is to project or hurl as it were, his or her self-hate onto you and though it may feel very personal, it never is personal.

 The very word “hater” was not even in the dictionary before social media became the new playground and fodder for the bottom feeders of society who could gather a large audience quickly and ensure their own popularity with the lowest forms of humanity. Satan had found his new regime in these punks and attention seeking bullies who have been responsible for more young people committing suicide than any other group in history.  Where self-respect and personal dignity once thrived in the days of our grandparents and great-grandparents, today’s climate is one which is self-serving, over wrought with a sense of entitlement and a demographic which thrives on instant gratification and hungers for fame.

What is the psychology of hate? Adolph Hitler, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh are all known for espousing hate ad nauseam and rose in popularity because of the rhetoric and propaganda they delivered into a world hungry for fresh blood. Today’s new breed of hater is cult-like and has electronic media and a gaggle of dysfunctional people who will help spread the hate to ensures it bleeds into the search engine mainstream.  Where bullies use to be satisfied with taking their target down, many haters have become downright dangerous and hell bent on destroying their victim. There is not a week go by that we don’t see a news story of some teenager who has committed suicide because of the callous actions of bullies and haters. They have taken self-loathing to a new level, regurgitating their own unhappiness onto innocent people. Those who engage in this type of behavior are typically unhappy, unsuccessful, addicted to drugs or alcohol, have low to no self esteem and many have experienced being bullied themselves at one time or another. They feed on the need to control, manipulate and contort truth, yet many are unable to grasp or discipher what actual truth is. They are also prone to violence, hurting animals and hurting themselves and many times have a criminal history.

What haters fail to see and fully grasp is the law of karma which inevitably returns to them usually with far greater impact doing far worse damage than they have done to their intended victims. Typically haters are not very educated and are never spiritually evolved thus they do not understand the laws of physics and the spiritual law of intention.  When combined energy and mass create a combustible cocktail of energy can often return to the hater within weeks and months of their acts of bullying.

The Grammy-winning Songwriter Malik Yusef summed it up best in his beautiful Huffington Post blog, “The Psychology of Hate.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/malik-yusef/the-psychology-of-a-hater_b_1491354.html ) “The best way to tell a hater is: look at how they treat others and look at their actions. Don’t think you are special. If they tear down and disrespect people they consider friends, and then smile in their faces when they come around, don’t deceive yourself as though they won’t be the same with you. I think the hardest thing for us as humans to do is accept people for exactly who they are. As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you their true colors, believe them.” Hatred ultimately destroys the hater. Don’t get tricked into thinking that you have to carry the burden of hate. The psychology of a hater is to impose their self-hate on others. It’s not as much about you as it is about them. Don’t take hate personally, because at the end of the day — it just isn’t. Don’t look at hate as a reflection of yourself and your work, but don’t use it as a crutch either. Take time to reflect and critique yourself and surround yourself with others who are honest enough to do the same. Now go get you some haters!”

Ariaa.comEssays for The Truth About Suicide

All of you know me as a healthy, happy person who shines love, light and laughter into the world each and every day. This video is none of those things and comes with a strong warning as it is raw, emotional and heavy laden. On Friday I learned of the suicide of a dear friend whom I loved very much and have spent the weekend reeling thus the video. I am ONLY posting it in hopes that if you know of anyone who may be dealing with thoughts of suicide, I urge you to let someone know and get them some help. If you are dealing with these emotions, there is nothing to be ashamed of….every human with rare exception has thought about taking their own life at one time or another. If you need help, please reach out. We care. All my love, Ariaa

All Creatures Great and Small

 

“Animals contribute to the light mass of earth and should be considered as valuable as any human being.”

Animals are just furry people. I penned the following as a protest to those who just don’t understand the animal world. I know it sounds very harsh but if we as human beings would be more passionate about protecting nature, if we would take more responsibility in caring for all creatures’ great and small, the earth would be more balanced. When it comes to animals, just as I do with people, I try to metaphorically walk in their shoes. If I was a dog, would I like eating the same hard, tasteless food every single day of my life? If I was a cat, would I want my nails ripped out or my testicles cut off or would I want to eat right next to my litter box? If I was a horse, would I want to be left out in a field of snow all winter long with no shelter to protect me from the elements?

I wish more people would try to perceive what an animal feels when they suddenly give it up for adoption because it no longer fits into their life. So many who move to a new state or apartment do just that and I am always saddened to see how traumatized these pets are, who have been so readily cast aside after years of being loyal and loving to their owners. I am horrified when I see someone leave their pet behind where there is a fire looming nearby, instead of taking that baby with them when they evacuate. I am shocked when I see the ignorance of man as their ride their large dogs in an open bed truck at speeds exceeding 50 MPH knowing if anything goes wrong, they are literally making their dog a living projectile! I wrote the following knowing some might be offended and I actually hope it does cause such a rumbling in the stomachs of those who do not think, that they change the way they perceive their pets and all wildlife. Every creature is a gift from God. 

You were entrusted with a life but carelessly left the door open and ensured a painful death for your cat as foxes and coyotes ripped it apart.

You were entrusted with a life but you used shock therapy to stiffen the barks of a creature that is designed to bark.

You were entrusted with a life but you left chocolate and Christmas ribbon which is toxic to dogs laying around.

You were entrusted with a life but you rode your dog in the back of your pickup never realizing he would become a living torpedo when you had that fender bender.

You were entrusted with a life but you ripped the finger nails out of your cat because it suited your needs but left that baby traumatized and defenseless if your cat ever had to get away from a predator.

You were entrusted with a life but you feed your cat right next to his toilet, the litter box.

You were entrusted with a life but you left your dog out in the bitter cold with one thin blanket in a drafty shack you call a doghouse.

You were entrusted with a life but you locked your dog in a kennel for long periods of time because you were uninspired to train it.

You were entrusted with a life but you spanked your dog when he had to pee and had no way to get out on his own, as if he was supposed to hold it.

You were entrusted with a life but you left your kids and grandchildren pull its tail and ride on his back.

You were entrusted with a life but you gave your furry baby away when it became inconvenient for you to keep it or when you had to move and didn’t make allowances to take your baby with you.

You were entrusted with a life yet you didn’t secure the gate when high winds came through and a car found your dog before you could.

You were entrusted with a life….. Do not get a pet if you cannot be responsible enough to ensure its needs are met, that it has food, fresh water, a warm bed, a safe environment and a loving home for the duration of its life.

Ariaa Jaeger ~ Excerpt from the book  “Ariaaisms~Spiritual Food for the Soul”

copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved

Ariaa.com

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Vertical Drowning

She walked in with her long, skinny, slightly bowed legs, covered in hose which resembled a spider’s web, her dress playing peek-a-boo with her crotch.  This was not the first time this 51 year old leggy blonde had caused me to do a double take but it would be the last.

We sat in a booth at a high end Mexican restaurant scouring the menu for what tasty morsels we should eat for lunch. She opened the conversation giggling, “I am in therapy now but wanted to impress my therapist so I am lying to her.”

The conversation went from bad to worse as she told me of her sexual trysts and her newest pursuer, who had taken her to meet his family in another state, over the past weekend.  Announcing that he was in love with her and she could not understand why, she went on to order her second Margarita while letting me know that she was still sleeping with her, “friend with benefits.”

How did I get here? Why do I always give people the benefit of the doubt? I was taught not to judge people, to love them despite themselves, yet found myself remembering the one other time I had previously gone out with this woman.

There was a summer garden party at a posh home in the downtown area last year. She showed up in a skirt up to her ying yang, dressing more like a teenaged street-walker than a self-respecting banker and in 5 inch heels no less, making the lawn look more like a badly beaten polo field. It was a GARDEN PARTY on GRASS! As she strutted across the lawn, picking her heels out of the turf as she walked, I could not help but see a very insecure women who clearly was fighting the aging process.

Once again, she had too many glasses of wine and proceeded to confront an elderly couple who had mistakenly sat at her table. Instead of gently making them aware that it was the table she was occupying, she got in their faces and verbally assaulted them! I was mortified and embarrassed by her behavior and left promptly vowing that I would never go out with this woman again. Ironically, this is the very kind of person I have had so much success working with in my 20 year career.

It had been almost six months since I last saw her, so booking a lunch date with her seemed harmless. Now on her third margarita, I was beginning to squirm in my chair. While I have counseled hundreds of alcoholics and social drinkers over the years, and while I know it is a legitimate disease, it is hard for me to relate to this sort of addiction to any real degree. I have never like alcohol or the way it makes people act not to mention how hard it is on the physical body and organs. Smoking a thousand joints of pot will not damage the liver the way a year of nonstop drinking will.

My daughter’s father was a full-fledged alcoholic by the age of 17, when his wealthy parents left him alone in a fancy house with an open bar, to entertain his friends. Sadly he was drunk on the night I conceived and in the 1970’s as a society, we knew very little about fetal alcohol syndrome or bi-polar disease or the long term effects of alcohol on the developing fetus. I am now an expert on the subject after giving birth to a child who has spent the better part of 40 years battling the mental and emotional demons alcohol produces.

As I sat watching this bank associate become drunker by the minute, I felt helpless and lost as to what to do. I teach and counsel people every day yet on this hot, summer day, I was rendered useless. It is an overwhelming feeling of helplessness when you encounter someone you cannot help. That applies to many areas including trying to convince someone who has just had a heart attack, not to eat the fast food which clogged their heart to begin with. You cannot help anyone who refuses to listen if they don’t wish to help themselves.

She wanted to drive just across the parking lot to a department store and though she was handling those 3 large margaritas well, I was concerned. She phoned the friend with benefits and asked him to meet us in the parking lot as she peeled out and burned rubber in her $80,000 Audi sports car. My heart raced but I could not think of how to get away. I hurriedly walked through the store with her hoping the alcohol would wear off fast, repeatedly telling her that I needed to get back home and back to work. We left the store but only after she had flirted shamelessly with the teenage boy behind the counter! HOW DID I GET HERE?

She insisted on going back into the restaurant and was determined to have me meet this man who she had a relationship with. Little did I know she was trying to set me up with him!

As she stumbled to the bathroom, I informed the bartender not to serve her and to bring some coffee fast. I sat there so childlike, searching my soul for what to do and how to handle this. Shortly thereafter her friend arrived and I found my out. Staying less than ten minutes I left and drove home like Cinderella at midnight!

My question is “why?” Not why there is alcoholism, not why befriend someone like that, not even why I went in the first place. My question is, “Why do people drink?” She will tell you she is not an alcoholic like many who are in denial but I am referring to the tens of thousands who are not alcoholics yet who choose to drink.

Alcohol is stupid and it makes people stupid, they act stupid, they look like crap after a few drinks and by morning they look like a piece of yellow-green leather. What compels anyone to put something in their body that they cannot get out except if they vomit? What compels an intelligent human being to wallow in behaviors which resemble monkeys tripping on acid? What would cause a non-addict to want to be out of control of his bodily functions?  Is there something wonderful about slobbering, peeing yourself or hanging your head in a commode which no one ever explained to me? Are those who enjoy this, some sort of a sub-species that science has yet to discover?

And what about the morning after? How many of these people have awaken to see a total stranger lying in bed next to them? How many have died senselessly behind the wheel or have committed vehicular homicide after a night of getting s**t-faced? How many have lost their jobs because they got drunk and behaved like a fools at a Christmas or office party? How many have found themselves laying in their own vomit or excrement because they literally lost their mind and their common sense?

I cannot for the life of me wrap my brain around those who enjoy drinking at all much less those who do it in excess. After my death experience 20 years ago in the Austrian Alps, I saw life as so much more fleeting, precious and incredibly valuable. I can’t understand those who would squander it or want to forget that important tidbit for even one night. Those who are non-alcoholics yet drink in excess  and simply drink for the buzz, to forget, to relax or to just get stupid for a while, are a mystery to me and I pray to never be able to personally relate to them. I am thankful for common sense, balance, an inbred awareness of moderation and above all things, I am grateful for the self-respect and self-preservation instincts I have which would never find me drinking myself into a lesser gene pool.

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