AND NOW HERE’S YOUR SHALLOW PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE YEAR

I scroll my news feed on Facebook and other social media sites and see so many bad selfies that I am compelled to teach you how to take a good picture of yourself. Its simple, natural lighting is best as in outdoors (unless you are trying to hide something, like age) and find a place in the shade as direct sunlight washes out your face. Then hold the camera as far away from your face as you can and up a little, DO NOT SHOOT FROM BELOW unless you are really fond of that triple chin. Comb your hair and wear bright colors preferably jewel tones as they bring out your personality and for petes sake stop looking like you are trying to be sexy, no one cares…stop with the blowing kisses, pouty lips and wide eyed glazed over look that makes you look like you are smoking crack or drunk. And please put your boobs away! I don’t want to see YOUR CLEAVAGE IN EVERY SINGLE PICTURE…too needy, too desperate, for the sake of self respect cover those aging balls of fat. We assume if you are a woman you have breasts, no need to whip em out for our entertainment. Just be natural and smile, your smile is your best asset and no 2 smiles are alike so use yours like gold, flash it! Now lets improve the news feed here with your inner beauty shining through your selfies You’re welcome! OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
— feeling amused.

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